Recently I discovered (or rediscovered, because I think I found it the first time when I was in middle school) a journal that my mother kept in the 80s. In it are the stories of the births of her children. I thought it'd be interesting to post her words here to celebrate my 35th birthday. Everything below and not in italics was written by my mother, Gloria, sometime after my birth.
It all starts on Wednesday, March 4, 1981 . . .
After several months of total exhaustion, I awoke with a feeling of renewed energy. All of the signs that the baby would be born soon were there, but I was not in tune with my body and couldn't read them.
Although I had leaked clear fluid in little gushes the previous day and it continued on this day, I went to work anyway. This was amniotic fluid—my water had broken, but I didn't know it. At lunch I bought enchiladas, but couldn't eat. (The previous day Lana and I had gone to the Chinese restaurant, but I couldn't eat then either. In the afternoon I called Cederlind's office to ask about the little gushes of fluid. The nurse said that if there were no contractions not to worry.
Driving home from work I felt my first contractions. What is this? What's happening? Still I failed to listen to my body and to realize that my baby was ready to be born.
At home I woke Dan, who got up to take a bath while I timed contractions. Four minutes between the first two and then three minutes apart from then on. Still I crawled into bed thinking this bus be false labor. Dan called Labor & Delivery at SMMC [Shawnee Mission Medical Center] who advised that we call the doctor. Cederlind advised that we go to the hospital.
When we arrived at SMMC it was nearing 8 o'clock and I was dilated to 8. At the hospital Dan helped me undress then he went to scrub up. The baby would be born in the birthing room with no drugs, no prep, no stirrups, and I hoped no episiotomy.
Within an hour I was dilated to 10. But now I was in a bad mood, impatient, tired, and wanting sleep. I had convinced myself that if I could just go to sleep, progress would stop and we could have the baby the next day. So I tried to sleep between contractions.
The baby would be three months old before I would remember some of the things that might have helped speed things up. If I had been on my feet, gravity would have helped. Ironing the perineum might have prevented the need for episiotomy. But these things were far from my mind as I played at pushing.
One of the nurses said I pushed for 2 1/2 hours. The hospital's records says it was 1 1/2 hours. In any event, Amber was born at 11:26 PM. To think that many doctors would have pulled her out with forceps frightens me.
When I felt the baby's head descend and recede again Cederlind did a "small" episiotomy. The baby's head was born. It was such a thrill to look between my legs and to see my half born child. She cried when he suctioned her nose & mouth, then she was quiet. With the next push the doctor said, "You have a girl."
And I remember Dan jumping up and down saying, "Honey, did you hear? We have a girl."
I was handed the baby still attached to me by the cord. She lay in my arms and looked all around, her eyes wide with wonder. She didn't cry at all, but seemed so calm.
The afterbirth was born and the doctor showed it to Dan & explained it's function, but I just held my little daughter in my arms.
It all starts on Wednesday, March 4, 1981 . . .
After several months of total exhaustion, I awoke with a feeling of renewed energy. All of the signs that the baby would be born soon were there, but I was not in tune with my body and couldn't read them.
Although I had leaked clear fluid in little gushes the previous day and it continued on this day, I went to work anyway. This was amniotic fluid—my water had broken, but I didn't know it. At lunch I bought enchiladas, but couldn't eat. (The previous day Lana and I had gone to the Chinese restaurant, but I couldn't eat then either. In the afternoon I called Cederlind's office to ask about the little gushes of fluid. The nurse said that if there were no contractions not to worry.
Driving home from work I felt my first contractions. What is this? What's happening? Still I failed to listen to my body and to realize that my baby was ready to be born.
At home I woke Dan, who got up to take a bath while I timed contractions. Four minutes between the first two and then three minutes apart from then on. Still I crawled into bed thinking this bus be false labor. Dan called Labor & Delivery at SMMC [Shawnee Mission Medical Center] who advised that we call the doctor. Cederlind advised that we go to the hospital.
When we arrived at SMMC it was nearing 8 o'clock and I was dilated to 8. At the hospital Dan helped me undress then he went to scrub up. The baby would be born in the birthing room with no drugs, no prep, no stirrups, and I hoped no episiotomy.
Within an hour I was dilated to 10. But now I was in a bad mood, impatient, tired, and wanting sleep. I had convinced myself that if I could just go to sleep, progress would stop and we could have the baby the next day. So I tried to sleep between contractions.
The baby would be three months old before I would remember some of the things that might have helped speed things up. If I had been on my feet, gravity would have helped. Ironing the perineum might have prevented the need for episiotomy. But these things were far from my mind as I played at pushing.
One of the nurses said I pushed for 2 1/2 hours. The hospital's records says it was 1 1/2 hours. In any event, Amber was born at 11:26 PM. To think that many doctors would have pulled her out with forceps frightens me.
When I felt the baby's head descend and recede again Cederlind did a "small" episiotomy. The baby's head was born. It was such a thrill to look between my legs and to see my half born child. She cried when he suctioned her nose & mouth, then she was quiet. With the next push the doctor said, "You have a girl."
And I remember Dan jumping up and down saying, "Honey, did you hear? We have a girl."
I was handed the baby still attached to me by the cord. She lay in my arms and looked all around, her eyes wide with wonder. She didn't cry at all, but seemed so calm.
The afterbirth was born and the doctor showed it to Dan & explained it's function, but I just held my little daughter in my arms.
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