"Ordinary life does not interest me. I seek only the high moments. I am in accord with the surrealists, searching for the marvelous." ~Anais Nin

06 January 2017

Interview post mortem

I had my first non-library interview today.  My first interview in over a year, in fact.  I think it went well.  I know better than to count my chickens, or to even count on anything before it's in hand, but I do hope I get this job.  It sounds super interesting, something that will push and grow my skills, you know?

I think the interviewers and I had rapport, which is good.  And I think that I answered most of the questions they had for me well.  Though, I may have fumbled a bit at the end.  The library thing (the fact that I have a library degree, and am not looking for work in a library) came up, and I know no good way to answer that.  Not without sounding angry and desperate.  Then they asked what in my career would they not go back to, and I don't know how to answer that either.  Everything I've done is open for redoing.  I'd hoped that I wouldn't have to go back to retail work with it's low pay and crappy hours, but it'd be different if I owned a shop, so that's not exactly true either.

I can't quite make myself believe that this is going to work out for me.  I'd like it to, but I can't count on it.  And I can't believe it.  If I end up being offered the job, I'll just have to be pleasantly surprised. Because I can't expect and then not get it, you know?

Man, but it'd be an interesting position.  I had assumed it would just be a receptionist, which would be a fine if boring position, but no, it's a growing gig.  I'd be receptionist, yeah, but I'd also be involved in quite a bit of the administration of the department.  I'd be able to define the role.  Which. Is. Awesome.  Responsibility and room for growth?  Forget about it!  It'd be a dream.

Which, of course, is why I'll probably not get it.  Why expect this to go my way when I've had years of nothing but bruises?

So, back up plan, back up plan, what will be my back up plan?  I'll keep applying.  I'll apply and apply and apply, much like I have been, and hope that something sticks.  And I'll ramp up my writing.  Not here, not right now anyway, but creatively.  I've let that slack.  I've told you.  I have a short story in the works right now that I think I could sell to one of the major magazines.  If I can finish it and polish it up a bit.  I've got a couple of others bubbling and brewing.  And there is always my novel, which I haven't worked on in a while, but I've been thinking about.

Something's got to give soon, right?  

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